Taking Sucking Up To A New Level, or How I Mentioned My 26 Favorite Motorsport Bloggers in ONE Post

13 Dec

Camera Man Extrodinaire Kevin Rogers hard at work

During the past year I have been mentioning a few of my “must follow” motorsport bloggers that come to you highly recommended. You may be asking who is the one that is doing the recommending? Well, that would be yours truly, DUH. So, with that fairly stoopid introductory line, I bring you the vaunted 25.

With just 500 MILES left to go, I came across yet ANOTHER INDYCAR BLOG without even trying to figure what in the devil was my destination. Looking into the setting sun I noticed that there appeared a CRIMSONCAST about the southwestern sky. Now, don’t get me wrong; I enjoyed both the F1 And MOTORSPORTS ARCHIVE like hue that was cast about by the puffy clouds, against the deepening purple as the sun left the building, much like Elvis. With the passing of day into night, I came to realize that so far, my journey had been nothing more than a GRAB BAG. SPORTS can be fickle like that, a destination not known but a journey taking place. Could my final destination actually be INDY? RACING REVOLUTIONs can be just a sign of these troubled times, leaving one to wonder who really knows? Frankly, I have been told quite often that I do not know JACK. How ARUTE an observation is that? SPORTS came to mind as a possible destination…….or was it JP’s? INDYCAR BLOG is not a physical destination but that was where I was headed, like it or not.

One thing was for sure, if I was ever going to cure the hideous push in my rented AMC Pacer, I was going to have some mechanic put in MORE FRONT WING on the bitch. What an evil push, which was preventing me from setting a NEW TRACK RECORD on my journey. Perhaps it was the fact that my Pacer has NO FENDERS that keeps me looking like OPEN WHEEL AMERICA, and that is not a pretty sight.

A short time later and further on down the road (sung in the key of A you blues hound dog, you) my Pacer began to act a little strange. Could it be low OILPRESSURE? The last time it acted up in such a manner, I was near Phoenix and the POP OFF VALVE had blown, or as PRESSDOG says, it is blown up, Sir! This began to put me in a manic state and I searched frantically for a place to get the thing looked at. Sweet Jesus! I noticed a mileage sign that said RACING MANIA …101. Dayam; over two more hours to go before I can get near a small town with a name of Mania. I kinda liked that SO..HERE’S WHAT I’m THINKING; run a lot lower rpm, much like Milka Duno being THE BACK MARKER at Indy. Blog about THAT sometime all of you writer wannabes. Learn to put prose to paper in a humorous fashion, not just a review about THE RACE.

gIRL, I bet you can’t even keep quiet while on this journey. I wish you could be like some of THE SILENT. PAGODA on about this, Pagoda on about that…..just wears me out and drags me THROUGH THE TURBULENCE of life. It is not like this is single league or even double league, but TRIPLE LEAGUE! RACING is always like that, a QUEERSFORGEARS thingy that always pops up at the most opportune time. Right, girls?

Well, this has certainly been most fun and I have a smile on my face just contemplating those that I will bring a snarl to and those that I will bring a WIDE OPEN WHEEL smile to. Life is like that sometimes; it is not the destination so much as it is the journey getting there……

In my house we do not wish anyone a happy holiday. We are old skool and we wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. May your 2012 bring you all the richness that you deserve. And one last thought; our racing community gets smaller each year. Keep JessicaLyn26 and her family in your thoughts and prayers.

Thanks for reading and talk to you next time!
Paul Henry


2 Responses to “Taking Sucking Up To A New Level, or How I Mentioned My 26 Favorite Motorsport Bloggers in ONE Post”

  1. Oilpressure December 13, 2011 at 8:26 pm #

    Good job! Alphabetical order too. I’m impressed.

    • Kent Mueller December 30, 2011 at 11:00 am #

      I got a major laugh out of this one!

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